Skip to main content

Dying to...

I thought I would check in and just let you know... This is a rant. I am wondering why I am in this profession. I hated elementary school. I remember days where I just did not feel like going to school. I would just stay at home. My reason for wanting to be a teacher is because I just want to do it better than my teachers did it. But my problem was never the teachers. It was my peers. And guess what? The same traits that made me dislike my peers (my sense of justice, respect for authority, my sensitivity, etc.) are still in me and the kids today are the same, if not worse, than my peers were back then. I wish I was stronger when I was younger . I will be stronger today. My problem is can I love kids who are like the kids that made my life a living hell when I was younger? All up to you God. They offered me a teacher's aid position over here. Not volunteer and this question about my motivation keeps coming back to bite me. I hated elementary school. Why do I want to be a teacher?

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

This Time

#Makeitwonderful So I'm up on this song right now. It's by Melanie Fiona and it talks about how much more the speaker/singer would put into their relationship the next time around. Take a listen or a watch... I think it's a powerful message for those seeking a second, third, fourth, fifth ... chance at life. Right now, I live with a family in which the husband must have done something bad in the past because no matter how much good he does (and he does a lot of good), it will never be enough. This is my issue. The past was hard to live through the first time. Why would I want to pay for it in every second for the rest of my life? This song speaks of putting the past behind and promising the best for the future. Let go of the past. I can't live with the guilt of the past. I can only pour all of me into a occurring present for a brighter future.  ...But I don’t wanna do it over The first time is gone away You can’t rewrite the past All I can do is say This t...

Rebellion

When I was abo ut 17-18 (late teens), I woke up one Sunday morning and I opened my Bible to read. Now, it was during the time when I was very mystical about my Bible reading. Whatever verse I opened the Bible to had a "special" message for me for the day. So I would open and point/look. That morning I opened and my eyes rested on Ezekiel 12:1-3. This is what it says: The word of the LORD also came unto me, saying, Son of man, thou dwellest in the midst of a rebellious house, which have eyes to see, and see not; they have ears to hear, and hear not: for they are a rebellious house. Therefore, thou son of man, prepare thee stuff for removing, and remove by day in their sight; and thou shalt remove from thy place to another place in their sight: it may be they will consider, though they be   a rebellious house.  I was flabbergasted because I could define my house as being rebellious by the meaning of the verse. But I did not want to take the scr...

Dreams never lived

We have to get rid of the idea that we understand ourselves,... -Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest I've been ignoring this idea for a couple of days, that I have not accomplished things that I have shied away from for whatever reason. It's depressing to think of how far I've gone from my unfulfilled dreams. I always settle for less than best.  I've dreamed of changing the youth program over here in California where I attend church. Never did it. I've dreamed of empowering my young people back home to make changes. Never did it. I've dreamed of becoming a Senior Youth Leader. Never finished! I've dreamed of being a Medical Missionary. Not accomplished. I dreamed of sining my own songs before people. Not done yet. I dreamed of writing tons of books. Completely unfulfilled. So in listening to the motivational speeches, I focus on things that I can do in the future rather than the things in the past that I have not accomplished but in truth, they...