Counting Sheep

Do you sometimes find yourself try to fall asleep and not succeeding? I've had times in which I would be lying in bed trying to sleep but unfortunately, because my mind is too active or I had an extra long nap earlier that day or I'm literally in too much pain, I find that sleep eludes me. So I try to sleep. I'm sure that you've been told or have heard some fictional character being told to count sheep when sleep is elusive. I heard it on  Sesame Street.  I don't know the origin of a saying like this, but I find that counting sheep is a fitting title for the attempts to put one self to sleep. I have not really tried counting sheep in some years but what I try to do is lie very still, close my eyes and even out my breath. Usually, my overactive mind takes this opportunity to start thinking about random things so sleep remains far from me. When I finally do fall asleep, it is not because I tried to sleep or if I was even aware of falling asleep. It just happened, naturally. I wake up the next morning knowing that I have been sleeping but not knowing when or how.

I find that this analogy works well with spiritual things. As a christian, we should be trusting Christ to make us holy. We should be trusting in Jesus to keep our minds in perfect peace. But personally, I find myself trying to trust in God, trying to saying the right things, trying to do the right things, and trying to think good thoughts. Something that should come natural to the Christian is terribly hard for me. I'm not saying that Christianity is easy. Let me give you an example. I find myself, in frustration begging God to purify my mind so I can think good thoughts. For so long, I have allowed my thoughts to run wild because I thought if I was thinking it, I was not sinning. But now that I know that the meditations of my heart should be acceptable in the sight of God, I find myself fighting to keep my mind pure. Similarly, I have ingrained within my speech Madea-isms that I have just realized are not pleasing to God, but unfortunately, it is so ingrained that my mind does not think about the words until they have escaped my mouth. Recently, in order to quiet down my mind and to point my thoughts to God, I have to turn on my MP3 player and bump my music loudly. As right as that might be for a little while, I doubt that I will always have an MP3 player to blare out my thoughts. And quite honestly, I shouldn't. My eardrums do not appreciate it, I look like a 15 year old with the earphones on and my mind has to learn how to direct my thoughts heavenward without being dependent on something like music to do it.  In a way, I am counting sheep in attempting to rest in Christ. I can't wait for the day when it will just happen and I will find myself sleeping in Jesus. Not dead literally but dead in the Col. 3:3 way.

My thoughts.

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