The Cali Life

As I was reading up on the skills needed for children within special education categories to transition into adult living, I came across the need for those students to develop self determination. I read up on self determination and realized, with shock, that I lack self determination skills. Of course, I then tried to label which special education category I fell in. SMH. The case of an amateur trying to diagnose. On Sunday, I watched a program called  "Unhooked" on Hope channel. Enablers was the theme of this specific episode and Nadine, my friend was featured. She spoke about how she did not have clear limits about what she was or wasn't willing to do and because of her willingness to please, she allowed people in her life to indulge in self destructive addictions.  The commentator mentioned that people need to be able to set up boundaries. As I watched, I realized that this was a major feature of self determination: realizing one's limits and being aware of what yo...

Do you sometimes find yourself try to fall asleep and not succeeding? I've had times in which I would be lying in bed trying to sleep but unfortunately, because my mind is too active or I had an extra long nap earlier that day or I'm literally in too much pain, I find that sleep eludes me. So I try to sleep. I'm sure that you've been told or have heard some fictional character being told to count sheep when sleep is elusive. I heard it on  Sesame Street.  I don't know the origin of a saying like this, but I find that counting sheep is a fitting title for the attempts to put one self to sleep. I have not really tried counting sheep in some years but what I try to do is lie very still, close my eyes and even out my breath. Usually, my overactive mind takes this opportunity to start thinking about random things so sleep remains far from me. When I finally do fall asleep, it is not because I tried to sleep or if I was even aware of falling asleep. It just happened, natu...

At the ripe age of 15 years old, I watched Madea's Family Reunion: the play. I think my Mom bought the bootleg DVD off of some dude in the street that works near her job. The guy probably sold it to her because my Mom is a Christian so he probably thought that she would love it. So she bought it. And I watched it, and watched it, and watched it. I'm very much into musicals and plays so I loved watching it, but I also admired the character Madea and the way she dealt with situations. There she was, this man in a dress with wisdom and enough holy speech to make it acceptable and then just a little bit of those bad words that were acceptable to make it sound funny and cool. I embraced it full-heartedly. I remember thinking how cool Madea was and I started saying all her sayings. Hell and crap became words of frequent use in my vocabulary. Even the way I tell jokes or stories picked-up the tell-tale signs of Madea plays. I thought that this was acceptable to God and it was funny. ...

Yeah, I'm getting my hair done officially today by Elsa, the same lady who was to busy to fulfill my appointment last week. SMH. Luke 18:1-7 Persevere in Prayer. Day 14 of the 40 days. I honestly do not know how I'm going to do it but I'm going to try. I wrote a list of things of things I'm going to pray for and throughout the day, I'm going to pray seriously and earnestly about these things. And then continue doing it for the rest of my life. God is good. I'm trying to build a habit of praying continuously throughout the day. David cried out to God evening, morning and at noon. Daniel prayed three times a day. Jesus spent all night in prayer and Elijah prayed 7 times until a dark cloud was sighted, signaling rain. I must pray even more.

I'm in the classroom now, thanking God for joyful Mrs. Lawrence! This lady is the bomb. She is teaching the 2nd graders Thematic Reading. Before she starts teaching them everyday, she kneels down and she prays to God. Yes and she puts the lesson in God's hands. Today she was looking for Uncle Arthur's Bedtime Stories. I could only picture how they would look in my house and I was not sure if they were in the school. On my way to texting the principal to ask if the stories were here, she says "Let me kneel down pray and ask God about it."  Minutes later, she's looking through the library and she finds the books! Amazing. I was like, "Praise God!"  My first instinct is to always try and see what I can do for myself without even thinking of God as a last resort. But Mrs. Lawrence addresses God and He answers! Why am I amazed? Because I want that! I want that kind of faith that is ever present without dwindling for doubt. So I prayed that God would mak...

Yep I braided the back of my head last night. I just wanted to share with you guys a couple ideas and happenings. I was watching the sunset this evening and I was excited about life as I watched the sky glow behind the horizon. As I watched, simply in awe, a humming bird zoomed past my ear. I watched it hover and then land in a tree. When not flying, he seemed to be buzzing with action, looking everywhere and glancing at everything. Then it made it's call. In that moment, with sunsetting and the humming bird in front of me, I felt alive and buzzing with new energy. I can see how the pagans find the sun worthy of worship because a sunset can be super exciting, almost a religious experience. As I watched, I felt like I could do anything and everything. Now the verse that's really getting to me now is Colossians 1:27. Here Paul is about to reveal this great mystery of God. And this is it: Christ in you, the hope of Glory. The Living Bible puts it like thi...

So yesterday after the party, I co-washed my hair and then braided it for the next morning. Unfortunately, the braids did not fully dry by the next morning. So I pulled my hair back in one. Whenever I do that with moist hair, the front of my hair becomes super straight. So I decided to pull all my hair up to the top of my head to night to straighten the hair in the back as the front and the hair style I came up with was so... Beyonce. Well not blond enough nor big enough but it is exactly the picture that came to my mind as I finished off the style. Well I'm only sleeping in it because I refuse to go out like this...well maybe someday. Unfortunately the style is a little to little girlish for me, even though I seem like the type of person to love the little girl styles. Part of me doesn't want to change my hair up too much because I do not like having to explain it to people who do not completely comprehend. I do not shy away from those opportunities but I do not ...

Yes I'm taking a picture with my phone. And what? Look at that forehead! The majority my face is my forehead. I don't know what I'm doing with my hair. Think I'll wear my hat tonight. But look at those beautiful teeth! And those eyes! Sweet! Can wait till I grow back those eyelashes and that brow! I need to rock those contacts. Those eyes can not be hidden any longer. Bday is coming up in a month and some days. Y'all pray that my lashes grow back by then. Any who...so the reason why the phone is in the pic. I lost this phone yesterday evening when my friend was dropping me off near the mailbox so I could bring in the mail. Unfortunately, I was clueless to what occurred until I was in the house. By then I wasn't sure if I left it in the vehicle, if it was hidden in one of the bags I take with me to school, or if I had accidentally dropped it on the ground in front of the house or the mailbox. As it was already dark outside, I decided to leave the excursion fo...

Yeah...problems. I have cried more in these last weeks in front of people than I ever have.  First last week, I cried because I made mistakes. This week, I cried because I interjected in a confrontation between John and Nadine ( my host parents) and I felt so justified but I suppose the Holy Spirit is working in me, or maybe it was self rising up in me but I felt remorseful about my outburst and I cried in front of them again as I was apologizing to John. Poor John. Poor host  family. I believe crying is a response to the books I've been reading about dying to self. But I cannot discern whether it is the Holy Spirit or self that is causing this emotional response in me. But I am realizing the futility of self and it sucks being unstable. In other news, My hair is a mess. I slept on my twistout last night becasue I didn't want to twist them over again and risk more breakage. One side of my head is all straggly and the other side is full and luscious...