WWAD?

What would adults do? I know that sounds funny and weird. But let me give you some background. When I was a child I used to sing the Toys"r"us song with the hopes that I would be a kid forever. Not really liked Peter Pan but more like I dd not want the accountability, the responsibility and the boringness of being an adult. So even when all my friends were with guys and doing adults, I loved being a child doing childish things. But even I must admit that a lot of my thought processes were very adult-like. Even to this day, I get along better with people that are younger than me.  Which landed me in a peculiar situation a couple of weeks ago. I hang out with this girl who is at least 10 years younger than me. I was babysitting her for the weekend so I took her out with me and some guys friends. Later, after speaking with one of these guy friends, something was revealed to me. He told me that when I was around the young girl. I acted girlie. In my mind, I went, "Here goes somebody else trying to tell me to act more mature. SMH. Don't they know already that I will never grow up?" LOL. When I asked him what he meant by girlie, he completely floored me. He said he got the vibe that I was trying to get a boyfriend. My jaw dropped. That was completely out of left field. I was not expecting that. It's not that I have never been accuse of being a flirt before. In fact, I have on a number of occasions. It's just that I did not see that at all. And I wasn't trying to do that at all. So for a whole week or two. I felt super awkward around this guy because I did not know how to act in a way that did not make him feel as if I was coming on to some guy. You see, if anyone knows me, they know that I look negatively on the institution if marriage. I recognize that it is a God-sanctioned institution. But my experience with marriage has been...negative. Let's just say God will let me know when he thinks I am ready for marriage. In my need to appear friendly and to be accepted, I came off as if I was trying to get a boyfriend. SMH! Which in a way, is childish. Sad story! Someone accused me of being childish. I was quite impressed a little because Jesus admonishes his disciples to be as children. But I'm starting to realize that my need to please other and to be accepted by others is super childish. Case in point, last night, a child whom I care for dearly accused me of getting him into trouble. At that moment I realized that he does respect me as an adult because he feels I am playing. My need to please him, makes him view me as a child. Another of my students said the same thing, that they do not view me as an adult. I have to pray about it but I realize something has to change. 1 Corinthians 13:11 When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things. I trust God with my maturity, my need to please others and my relationships. Because clearly, I haven't handled them well.

Hair update: I can't take hair pics anymore. But I finally washed my hair last week with cornrows in the front and mini twist in the back. I like it.